5 Helpful Ways to Improve Your Post-Game Talks
Concepts and exercises that coaches can implement after the final whistle.
Housekeeping message: I’m thinking about re-naming the Substack as it feels a bit too generic (Youth Soccer Coaching) and I’m in need of some ideas. So if you have any good suggestions please let me know in the comments!
I figured I’d write a follow-up to my last piece about half-time. Naturally, this follow-up will be about the next big moment every coach encounters on game day: the post-game talk.
The length of this piece will reflect the topic itself. Namely, the post-game talk should be quick, concise, and let players get back to their lives. We’ll start off with some general concepts behind a good post-game talk then go over some specific ideas that you can try using at the end of your next match.
Ages 🧒🏽
Now same as before, the younger the players you work with the less time you should spend talking to them. Older players can stomach a bit longer, but even then five minutes is the absolute ceiling that you want to hit. And that brings us to our first major point:
You Can’t Substitute Time 🕘
About eight years ago I was an assistant coach for a pool of U15 girls. One weekend we divided them up into two different teams and they played each other. One team absolutely smacked the other. I think it was about 5-0 and that was with some shots rattling off the crossbar.
The girls that lost were clearly dejected and in need of cheering up. The head coach called all the players together and talked for fifteen minutes about… honestly, I don’t even remember what he talked about. I just remembered that he talked a lot.
And looking around, I could see that the girls felt that same way. They didn’t want to hear about the importance of perseverance or why they shouldn’t feel bad or whatever was being said. They were ready to go.
I learned an important life lesson that day that applies to so much more beyond soccer: There’s no substitute for time. Nobody can say anything that will help the mourning process. Whether it’s losing a game, a relationship, or somebody close in your life, there’s no substitute for time.
Those players didn’t want to be told how to change their mindset or that even the best players in the world get blown out sometimes. No, they wanted to go home and get some space between themselves and that negative moment.
Sometimes the best thing a coach can say is nothing at all. Acknowledge that it hurts, that it’s okay to be upset, that you’re there for them if they want it, and that you’ll see them on Tuesday (or whenever your next practice is).
Machine-Gun Approach 🎯
I call what that coach was doing the “machine-gun approach.” It’s where we spray a bunch of words all over the place and hope one hits the target. This backfires in a few key ways though.
First, it forces players to sit through a long talk that doesn’t feel applicable to them. Even when it’s relevant and helpful, if the players aren’t emotionally ready to receive the message then it won’t matter. Making players endure endless drivel while they stew in their emotions can erode healthy relationships and slowly build resentment (that may sound dramatic but the emotional swings of a 15 year-old often are).
Even in best case scenarios, where the team wins and is riding an emotional high, players will only be partially listening. They’re more likely to be recalling the highlights of their performance and thinking about who they’ll hang out with after the game. Coaches will have a few minutes to hit the highlights and do some housekeeping, but that’s it. If you talk longer than that you’ll be in trouble.
And a particularly insipid consequence comes from both of these situations. If we’re talking to players, and all they’re really doing is tuning us out, then we’re unconsciously establishing a dynamic where they do not listen to the coach. This will only make our future communication and teaching more difficult because a habit has been instilled where they do not listen.
Avoid using the machine-gun approach. Be direct, clean, and try to get the job done using as few words as possible.
Things to do Post-Game ☑️
The following are a few suggestions that you can try after a game. I don’t recommend using all of them as you’ll probably exceed the length of the players’ attention spans, but there are a few things you should definitely do.
Review Goals & Data 🔢
One thing that should be part of every post-game talk is a review over what was talked about before the game and at half-time. It shouldn’t be an in-depth autopsy, just simply remark about whether the goal was achieved or not, maybe a sentence or two explaining why, and that it will be discussed more at training.
If there was data being gathered by players be sure to announce what the final numbers were. Without this crucial follow-up players will feel that their data-collecting doesn’t matter and they’ll be less inclined to participate in future games.
If everything is run smoothly it should be pretty easy to incorporate the data into a post-game review and gauge if progress was made.
An example:
“Okay boys, our goal was to press and win the ball in the attacking third today. How do you think we did? … Let’s see what the numbers were. By half-time we won the ball back 19 times, and in the second half we won it back 32 times. So I’d say we improved throughout the match and met our goal.”
Questions ❓
Second, you can engage with the players and ask them a subset of questions. You can also have them answer in partners or small-groups then do a quick review afterwards as a group. The questions could be:
What’s one thing we did well as a team?
What’s one thing we need to change?
What’s one thing you learned?
What’s one thing we need to remove from our game/team?
What’s one thing we need to keep doing in the future?
What’s one thing we need to add to game/team?
What’s one thing your partner(s) did well today?
Individual Positives 🙂
This one may take a majority of the time allotted, but I’ve used it in the past and really liked it. I gathered up all my boys in a circle, we put our arms around each other, then we went around the circle and everybody highlighted one person who played well today and quickly explained why.
It can take a few minutes the first few times you do it, but it can be done at the end of every training session to build familiarity and efficiency (and boost player confidence). It’s always good fun, it makes the kids smile, and they leave the field happy.
Housekeeping 🧹
This is the last thing you should lead your players through. If there’s anything that needs to be addressed or that players need to be reminded of (like proper post-game recovery, what to bring to the next practice, etc.) quickly let them know before getting a team cheer and heading off.
Clean Up Area 🚮
And finally, the very last thing players need to is to clean up the bench area. Make sure no jackets or water bottles are left behind and that all the trash is picked up. It’s a good way to teach young players how to take care of their possessions and to show respect to the club and environment. It’s a tiny thing that goes far and parents love the message that it sends.
How to Help Parents 🤝🏼
Speaking of parents, this seems like a good time to quickly address a particular topic that comes up quite frequently. Parent meetings deserve an article of their own, but for now it’ll suffice to say that as coaches we need to understand how parents approach the game when speaking to their children. Some parents will may easily fit under the label of “overbearing,” others may appear to be more apathetic.
A general rule to give is that parents don’t discuss the game during the car ride home. If players bring it up themselves, then parents can actively listen, but otherwise it’s not a good idea. I spoke to two other coaches this week who both said that all parents should do after the game is tell their child “We love watching you play,” and I think that’s good advice.
The Positive Coaching Alliance also put out a video a few years ago that provided some insights into what parents can do after a game or practice:
Wrapping Up 🎀
Broadly speaking, keep your post-game talks short and to the point. Hopefully this article prompted a few new ideas that you can try with your team(s) at the end of their next match. If you have a good post-game process, or some good ideas that others might be interested in, put them in the comments, as well as any suggestions for a new name to the Substack!
Perspectives From the Pitch